• Nikki Jones

A Daily Guide to Self-Confidence

Transform your self-image in 10 simple steps.


I almost didn't write a blog this week..


I knew I wanted to talk on the topic of confidence -- taking control of your self-perception and your badass life, but while researching techniques and exercises to improve confidence, I lost confidence in this post.

I started looking at all the amazing people speaking on this topic; on self-love, body positivity, female empowerment, self-value etc. and started to feel suddenly really, really small. Self-doubt crept in and I wanted to quit.


And that's exactly why this blog post is so important. Even if you love yourself, your job, your life. There will be trying times. Challenges that may feel so much bigger than you know how to handle. But coming back to a confident, empowered mindset will always serve you.


So here are some of the best, and simplest, practices I rounded up that can help you improve your self-confidence when you're feeling small:


1. Improve your posture.

Easy, right? Walk into a room with your shoulders back, head held high, and a big charming smile for an instant rush of empowerment when entering an unfamiliar situation.


2. Try Power Posing

Since your physicality influences your physiology, it is important to use your body to manipulate your mind. Amy Cuddy talks about how holding your body in specific ways for only two minutes can shift your hormones to raise your testosterone and lower your cortisol levels creating a feeling of confidence and powerfulness.

How to: Try the "Wonder Woman" before your next business meeting - Hands on your hips, chest up, hold for 2 minutes.

Ps. Her TED Talk is HERE. Definitely check it out.


3. Look People in the Eye.

Eye contact is a simple non-verbal way to improve communication with others. It gives them a sense of warmth and acceptance from you, and will get you feeling more connected to them. It also projects assertiveness and evokes feelings of trust.


4. Practice.

If you want to master anything, the key is repetition. Whatever area it is that you want to gain confidence in (public speaking, playing an instrument, networking), keep dabbling little by little. As you improve, and get positive feedback, your confidence will continue to improve to take on bigger and bolder projects. Start with challenges or goals that you strongly feel you can achieve and set yourself up for success.

“Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.” Thomas Carlyle


5. Three Compliments Journal.

Each morning, grab a pen and your planner, head to the mirror, and write down three compliments to yourself (pysical or non-physical). Read them aloud. Cheesy? Maybe, but this can completely change your self-image and only takes a few minutes a day!



6. Stop Negative Thinking.

Probably the most obvious, but also the most difficult item on the list. Recognize what negative thoughts play on repeat in your mind and learn to shift them. Catch yourself the moment you acknowledge the thought, tell that particular thought to "f*ck off" (out loud is even better.. if you're alone...), and change the direction of your thinking. You can also write a list of all the not-so-nice things you regularly say about yourself, then BURN the list - physical, symbolic, and satisfying.


7. Treat Your Body with Respect.

Think about how you are fuelling yourself. Eat as much plant based foods as possible (limit/ avoid meats and dairy), skip the processed foods, and move your body regularly. Try 30-45 minutes of low intensity movement every day (long walks, hiking, yoga, etc.), or 3-5 high intensity hour long workouts (try Crossfit, Soul Cycle, Orangetheory Fitness) through the week. The more you treat your body with care and see what it can really do, the more you will love it for all it's abilities!


8. Dress to Impress.. Yourself.

Fashion is wonderful. A really good outfit means a really good mood. Throw on something that makes you feel sexy, sophisticated, classy, or powerful and strut around your house before wearing it out to take on the world. I also recommend wearing your fave lingerie underneath as a secret weapon.



9. Visualization.

Use your imagination to see and feel your successes before they happen. You will prepare your brain for a successful outcome, and feel much more self-assured before taking action. Picture yourself achieving the best outcome; scoring the winning goal, getting the promotion and sitting in your new office, hitting a new personal best run time, etc. Really see, smell, and feel the scenario in detail. What exactly does it look like when you pull this off?


10. Help Others.

This is possibly the most important item on the list. Showing up for others is the best way to immediately see your self-value. Performing acts of kindness boosts your mood (something psychologists have referred to as "helper's high"). Volunteering your time, donating gifts, and otherwise making a contribution to your community (and the world) can lower stress, release endorphins, and improve overall self-esteem through feelings of belonging, accomplishment, and purpose. Seriously, who doesn't love making other people happy?!


BONUS

Do a professional photoshoot! Seriously. Imagery is so powerful and having images we love of ourselves can instantly pick us up when where feeling low. Get prints made and use your photos as a tool to remind you that you are powerful, gorgeous, and brave. Not to mention, the experience itself will get you in your highest vibration, feeling like a celebrity for the day and liberating you to be exactly who you are freely. On a bad day, just remembering your empowered self during the session is enough to help you take on anything.



Experiment with these tricks. I want you to feel totally killer everywhere you go.

You have seriously got this.


Love, Light, & Gratitude,


Nicole

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